i just want you to know. i party.
From a friend: I just got a message from a fat dude who looks like he’s 17 on okcupid whose screen name is horniemofo469. And he asked if I wanted to party. EPIC FAIL.
i'm not sure i like what you're implying
Care to have a chat before you die? and i mean, at least give me a reason why i should make it a priority to chat with you before i die. you’re pretty far down on the list as of now, but if you made it worth my while i might consider bumping you up a few notches.
marriage proposal p.1
Me: You got into an anesthesiology program? That's great!
Him: Yeah. So you should just marry me. In four years I'll be making at least $400,000k / year.
Me: Um, can I just wait and marry you in four years then?
i don't follow your 'logic'
Me: I don't really know that I was anything in high school. I kind of just... existed.
Him: You were a rebel weren't you?
Me: Uh, I don't know? What do you mean by rebel?
Him: C'mon, you were a rebel. Tattoos, haircut, the way you dress. Just admit it.
Me: I was also the valedictorian. 'Cause I'm hardcore like that.
Him: No you weren't. How did that happen?
Me: I wasn't an idiot? How on earth do you come up with the idea that tattoos and being a valedictorian are mutually exclusive?